GUY SPEAK > He Said, She Said > Genius or Jerk?

Is My Friend a Genius or a Jerk for His Unique Dating Ideas?

Genius or Jerk?

My old friend Sam never ceases to amaze me with some of the shenanigans he’s pulled in the dating world. But recently, one of his crazy stints has actually started to seem kind of brilliant to me. Or sketchy. Still not sure which.


From Sam, verbatim…


“It’s kind of complex. I call the girl about an hour before our date to find out where I should pick her up (to show her that I’m a gentleman) and right before hanging up, I say:


‘Oh one more thing. This is totally my issue so I can understand if you want to cancel the date… but I don’t feel like I should have to compensate a woman for her time, and vice versa, so basically, so I don’t pay on a first date.’


Sam continues…


 “She’s either totally shocked, offended or doesn’t care. I’ve even had a couple of women tell me that they are totally intrigued as to why I would say something like this. To be fair, it’s not about money. I have no problem paying for a girl after we’ve gone out a few times and we know we like each other. But with first dates, I think it makes sense that we each pay for ourselves. However I always make sure to throw down a ridiculously large tip to show her that I’m not stingy – I’m just a man of principle.”


I told Sam that regardless of his principles, I thought it made him look cheap. And like a real weirdo. So I decided to poll some of my female friends to ask them how they would react to Sam’s unconventional dating style.


“I think it’s borderline offensive. I feel like he’s saying that I’m not worth the cost of a meal or something. What happened to chivalry?” – Helen, 28


“I have no problem paying for myself but to me, it just sounds like this dude has issues and he’s bringing them to the table way to soon. Would I really want to date someone who seems like he carries a grudge against first dates? First dates are supposed to be fun, and this definitely does not sound like fun.” - Cynthia, 26


“I find it refreshing. I’ve always been financially independent and have never expected a man to pay for me, especially when we first start dating. I know a few girls who will go out with a guy that they’re not interested in just to get a free dinner, which I think is pretty horrendous. I like that this guy just cuts to the chase and makes it clear that he respects women who know how to take care of themselves.” – Andrea, 30


“I would just cancel.” – Jillian, 24


What do you all think? Is Sam a jerk? Or a genius?


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